Audio Snake Oil: Alive and Well
Audiophiles like me are a passionate group. We can spend countless hour researching the latest gizmo or audio enhancement and cough up big bucks for things that have virtually no hope of improving the quality of our playback experience. Everyone wants to coax the last little bit of fidelity out of their preferred platform and sometimes better cables or power conditioners can move the quality needle. But there are way too many products available that fall into the category of “snake oil”…meaning they do nothing at all to improve the quality of sound that we hear.
If you want to dramatically improve the quality of sound delivered through your system, then simply get a real HD-Audio recording and play it. With dynamic range over 125 dB and frequency response past 40 kHz, a well recorded HD track is the least expensive thing you can do to enhance your listening experience.
At the recent New York Audio Show 2013, I happened across a couple of vendors offering items that will do nothing to improve the sound of your system…but will cost you a lot of cash. Save your money and check out the free HD audio downloads available through this site.
Here’s the first item that caught my eye. The following description is taken right from the web site (I’ve actually seen this gentleman give a presentation on this item…he said nothing for over 20 minutes!). Here’s what you can get for a mere $4200!
The Bybee Golden Goddess ‘Super Effect’ Speaker Bullets deliver stunning improvements in detail retrieval, ambience and spatial presentation, vocal and instrumental color, transient and dynamic impact, and harmonic completeness. With a a simple plug-in connection, the GG SE Speaker Bullets surpass even the benefits of all but the most extensive system-wide internal Bybee modification upgrades to amplifiers, pre-amplifiers, loudspeakers, cables, etc.
The Golden Goddess SE Speaker Bullets incorporate a newly developed combination of carbon nanotube and gold-based quantum purification technology, and new proprietary wire that surpasses the gold wire originally used in earlier products. The termination on this product utilizes the the highest quality silver banana plugs and 5-way binding post terminals for the receiving end of the speaker cables. Although dramatic sonic improvements will be quickly audible, an burn-in period of 100-200 hours will enable the Golden Goddess ‘Super Effect’ Speaker Bullets to reach full performance.
There should be a special dictionary for writers focused on audio products. Can someone actually tell me what “harmonic completeness” is? I guess it’s something that only “carbon nanotube and gold-based quantum purification technology” can achieve.
Here’s another one for Quantum Chips:
High tech manufacturer, WA-Quantum, from Berlin, Germany, introduced so-called bio-energetic chips for the audio/video market. These chips are in fact small pieces of a synthetic material, encased in what outwardly appears to be an adhesive-backed “sticker” that can be fixed to audio components and cables. According to the manufacturer, the chip influences the efficiency of current flow and signal transmission on a subatomic level in accordance with the principles of quantum physics.
The chips come in multiple types for specific applications. Not only do the types differ in size and price; each is specifically programmed with a certain application in mind. Specific chips for fuses, capacitors, transformers, tone arms and cartridges, cables, loudspeakers and even musical instruments are available. Even just a single or small number of chips will be sufficient to raise the performance of any audio and video system to a higher level, and the manufacturer offers a 30 day satisfaction guarantee so that you can prove it to yourself!
Many users have tested the chips and continuously express their amazement and enthusiasm. To summarize the feedback we have received, as well as the results of our own in-house listening tests: applying the chips yields a more relaxed and natural sound. A very striking feature is that musical lines can be heard with improved separation, allowing for a deeper insight into the music. Individual instruments and voices have better definition. Unnatural hardness and electronic artifacts are reduced. Also, imaging is considerably improved ; voices and musical instruments are positioned in the soundstage with better focus. Dynamics are also improved. All of this leads to a more involving presentation.
In short, a music system upgraded with WA-Quantum Chips will sound more like real music, and less like electronics. This statement may seem a platitude, but it is exactly what happens. We do not know of any system upgrade for audio and video systems with a better price/performance ratio.
There are many dozens of these products available to unsuspecting audiophiles AND the worst part is that many of the high end audio magazines review them and offer positive feedback!
I am planning to begin offering superconducting cables and speaker magnets. The advantages include extremely powerful magents that are far more powerful than usual. This will offer harmonic diversity and inclusiveness as well as a convenient place to store all small ferrous objects placed in the room. Superconducting cables allow the signal to reach the next component before leaving the source. This allows for correction of digital jitter since the signal may be reconstructed in future time and then sent back to the past. The liquid helium cooling facility and pumps will require remote installation but should consume no more power than a pair of tube monoblocks. For an additional fee, we can set up a liquid helium bath so you may cryotreat your equipment, CDs and LPs.
Barry, if your product isn’t less than $10,000, I’m interested. Otherwise, count me in for a pair!
Wait at least two years before releasing the product that shields this properly. In the meantime keep all transistor radios at the neighbor’s house, unless they live above or below you.